


A Moment's Work

by Quaxo



Category: The Alienist (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 14:35:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13906104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quaxo/pseuds/Quaxo
Summary: Set immediately post episode 6 - "Ascension"Kreizler breaks a promise he made.





	A Moment's Work

The sound of palm striking cheek is like a thunderclap between his ears. Miss Howard is too shocked by his act to appear horrified -- conversely he is too horrified by his act to do much of anything. 

He’d done it unconsciously -- impulse moving his hand faster than reason or even thought. 

_She shouldn’t have pressed -- I told her --_

Bile crawls up the back of his throat, as he dismisses those excuses for his appalling action -- how often must his father said these exact same things to himself?

They are called away before either of them can address what has happened -- the slight asymmetry to the redness of Miss Howard’s cheeks is an emblem of his failure to be the rational man he presents to the world. 

He wants to apologize -- he has conducted himself abominably tonight -- but he has yet to find the right words that convey the depth of his regret without leaving him exposed further to Miss Howard’s cool scrutiny. 

They are too much alike in this way -- always digging deeper, greedy for whatever morsels of insight they might find, and unable to let matters lie. These traits serve them well in their chosen professions. Had Miss Howard’s fascination been with any other person he might have appreciated the cleverness of her ruse, but he only feels bitterness and shame to have his own tactics turned against him. Worse still, to know what she was doing, and in his efforts to subvert her, fall into the trap all same!

_How many times had I promised not to become him -- all broken in a moment’s work?_

In lieu of an apology he resolves instead to accept the barbs she will undoubtedly thrash him with over the following days. It is a cowardly course, but the only path he can see where he might retain some of his dignity. 

Perhaps once they have caught the killer he might discuss things further with her, but not now, while both their nerves are raw. It is in times of great stress, he knows, that the temptation to revert to old patterns of behavior are the strongest.


End file.
